I Was Supposed To

It’s been over a month since I last wrote, so here’s an update. I was supposed to move back to my apartment in Rexburg yesterday, I was supposed to start my new job Monday, I was supposed to begin teaching training, I was supposed to be better by now. “Failure is an opportunity”, right? Well, “the truth is, it gets hard in the moment”; I was right about that, the reminder resonating as I see the sun rise slowly after each sleepless night. There are so many “I was supposed to”s that they almost drown out the more important “you are getting there”s.

For every “I was supposed to” is a “you are getting there”.

Yes, I was supposed to do a lot of different things, but that was according to MY plan. But it wasn’t until yesterday that I saw that for every “I was supposed to” is a “you are getting there”. There is success in every failure, and every goal is attainable in its own time.

Yesterday, while doing my exercises, I happened to face a different wall where I came across a scripture I had written down years ago. It hit me hard. It was like receiving an answer to the question I hadn’t found the words yet to ask. The internal struggle of trying to understand the purpose of my prolonged illness was calmed with the assurance that “all these things are done in wisdom and order” (Mosiah 4:27). There is a reason for every extra hour and detour that is spent in the pursuit for an answer. Every “I was supposed to” in life is less of a rejection than a redirection of “you are getting there” towards the answer you didn’t know you needed.

"Less a rejection than a redirection"

In my preoccupation to accomplish what I was supposed to do, I became frustrated at the fact that I just couldn’t do it, I just couldn’t keep up. The comfort that I felt when reading that “it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength” felt like I could finally breathe again. I’d pray to know how to get through this, and the answer so kindly given is to “be diligent” because “all things must be done in order”. There is a plan, and sometimes when your “I was supposed to” doesn’t come along according to your timeline, it doesn’t mean you won’t reach those goals. Remember, “you are getting there”.

*UPDATE: We are getting close! We had some tests done and are waiting for results for the next step. We finally learned the answers we were searching for were learning which questions to ask.

#youaregettingthere #wisdomandorder #writeyourstory #staybeautiful